I started to reflect on the cause of why some days are more productive than others and landed on the concept of distractions; how one has a tendency of thinking back and thinking ahead. Have you ever caught yourself worrying about the tasks that need to be done later in the day or tomorrow, whether this or that will turn out the way you hope or stressing over things that happened yesterday or last week? I’ve found that the days where it is easier to get things done are the days where I am totally focused on the task at hand, in other words, I’m being in the present moment.
I can’t be the only one that has discovered this pattern, and this fits nicely with the term ‘mindfulness’. It’s one of those things we hear so much about, but what does it mean to be mindful? Some might think it is like meditating (that can happen as part of practicing mindfulness), or like forgetting about things (depends on what you are thinking about), but what it really means is to bring you to the present time and to be present and aware of what you are doing now, at this moment in time.
What is Mindfulness?
According to mindful.com, it is “…the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” That sounds simple but can be challenging in practice.
My colleague shared her own experience in trying to be mindful and said she lasted maybe two minutes before she became distracted. She tried it as just a re-adjustment of her thought processes to try to concentrate on what she was doing and even tried it through meditation. However, she didn’t give up. She started slowly with one simple process, when she found herself becoming overwhelmed and distracted, she stopped everything she was doing for a moment.
At that moment she decided that she was going to fix this through her thought processes by taking note of what she was thinking about the moment she felt overwhelmed. If it was something in the past or something not yet to take place, she stripped it away and thought to herself, “What am I doing right now?” She would listen to her breathing, acknowledge where she was in her physical location and set her mind to the task at hand. Turning back to what she was trying to accomplish she would attempt to focus on that alone.
Now that’s not saying there haven’t been many times where she tried and still became distracted, but the key was not giving up. Mindfulness is learning process and takes time and practice.
Why is it so important?
Some of the common benefits of practising mindfulness include:
reducing stress;
better sleep patterns;
weight management (maybe because we are thinking about what we are eating);
reduction in automatic negative thought processes;
assistance in managing anxiety and depression;
improved general health (physical and mental); and
improved concentration.
Even therapists that suggest mindfulness to their clients have noticed a change in how they provide therapy by practicing it themselves. As noted by the American Psychological Association in 2012, studies suggest that by practicing mindfulness, therapists not only benefit from the reduction of anxiety and depression but it is found to improve how they care for their clients through more empathy and compassion to their clients with improved skills in counselling.
There we have it! I focused and this blog is now finished! One small victory!
If you’re seeking your one small victory, don’t give up and remember:
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”― Buddha
Now that summer is here, some of us may head off to the beach or a cottage, some may be working in the heat of summer, while still others may be getting comfortable near a fan. As noted in the acrostic above, summer is an opportunity for us to do a few things to keep ourselves calm and relaxed as we unwind this summer. And let’s face it, we deserve it after the year we’ve had!
Slowing the pace
By taking the time to stop what we’re doing, or interrupt the daily cycle to listen, take a breath and live in the moment, even for just a minute, we can gain tremendous benefits such as lowering stress levels, lowering our heart rate and improving our mood and psychological engagement. Lifehack.com has a list of ways to slow down in a fast-paced world.
Unwinding and unplugging
Try going a day (or longer) with no technology, explore the magic of un-plugging. That means no phone, no television, no media of any kind. Instead, why not try taking a relaxing bath, read a good book (preferably made of an ancient fiber called ‘paper’), playing music or painting, or any other activity one would consider “old school”. By taking note of how you feel at the end of the day or more with no technology and note if you had an unwound day without it. Getting in touch with some of the old ways of doing things can make a difference in one’s day and it can actually help you feel mentally refreshed. A colleague mentioned when she needs to unwind, she bakes some bread but doesn’t use machines to make it. Just a bowl, spoon and her two hands. She swears by it as a stress reliever. Personally, I knit dog sweaters throughout the year – it’s very meditative and I find I process information and solve problems while the needles are clicking away…
Meaningful time forus
Don’t feel guilty about taking some much-needed quality or meaningful time out just for you. How we define that time may be different for everyone. Perhaps it means to be alone to collect your thoughts without interruption, or it may mean making time for family and friends. Just remember to not feel guilty about taking that time back but if you need some convincing on why it is important to take the time for yourself, Psychology Today runs through a few reasons to not feel guilty about solitary time for you and Time.com talks about the importance of meaningful time with those around us (socially distanced, of course).
Motivation to move
So far, we have talked about slowing down, unplugging, unwinding and taking time for ourselves. This all sounds pretty relaxing, but what about the importance of getting up and moving? While this almost feels counter-intuitive to the strategy of relaxing, exercise can make that relaxation all the more impactful by adjusting our body chemistry to reduce stress and boost mood, allowing us to better make use of our previously discussed methods for relaxation, as mentioned in Harvard Health. Alternatively, if the heat has got you down, taking a dip in the nearest pool or lake is another great way to stay in shape.
Explore our environment
While you’re getting up to exercise, why not take it outside. It’s summer after all! This gives you a wonderful opportunity to mindfully take in nature within your neighbourhood, or local trails. In our busy days, we don’t always get to take in the beauty of our environment.
Remain relaxed
Finally, some days just feel like chaos rests at the top of our minds. This is the perfect chance to try some meditation exercises (check out the ‘Calm’ app) to quiet the chaos, reduce stress and bring us back to that place where we can once again enjoy a slower pace by unwinding and making our summer a meaningful one.
There is always talk about the ever-elusive ‘work-life balance’ – who has it, who doesn’t. All the articles on the Internet and the chatter on social media make it out to be a thing that is always just out of reach; like a balloon that you’ve let go of, but as hard as you try, you can’t jump high enough to get it back.
For the past year, I think I can safely say we’ve all struggled with finding balance, whatever form we wish that to take. Very few people on the planet today have experienced a global pandemic, so you’re not alone! So we’ve got that on our plates as well as its compounding ‘elusiveness’. No wonder we’re often feeling out of balance!
I’ve learned two things:
1) We perceive ourselves to be ‘out of balance’ not because we can’t do it, but because the goal is constantly shifting and changing. Priorities change minute by minute, quite often so fast that we don’t notice it and all of a sudden, we’re feeling out of balance again.
2) In these days of remote everything, the line between ‘work’ and ‘life’ is really, really blurred. I mean REALLY blurred. Because our work space and our living space is now the in the same place, there is no transition time between leaving work and arriving at home. We used to use that time in the car or on the bus to de-compress, shift to our personal selves and change our environment. Now we just try to cope with whatever is in front of us at particular moment, whether it’s a personal task or a work task, we just deal with it. In amongst all of that chaos, we’re told we need to find time for ourselves alone.
You are the answer. You yourself are responsible for your well-being, all day, every day. Not your job, not your spouse, not your kids. It starts and ends with you. It follows then that you need to make yourself the priority, say ‘no’ sometimes and stick to boundaries so that you can be your best self for everyone and everything in your life. This is the center of being in balance. Makes sense, doesn’t it?!?
Many years ago, I made health and fitness my first priority for two reasons. The first is that I came out of corporate physically and mentally fried, and the second is that starting a business meant that I was going to be in control of everything I do. Not my boss, not my spouse, me.
That in itself brings a sense of freedom; freedom to choose what to do with my time as the days stretch out before me. I start each and every day in three realms: physical fitness (weights, cardio), mental fitness (brain games, reading) and reflection (journaling, meditation). It’s what works for me; odds are that what fires up your day is totally different. My regimen starts my day off right, prepares me for the day ahead and gets all my systems firing. I started off by scheduling this commitment in my calendar several years ago and I did it daily, without fail. Now it’s my morning ritual; I don’t schedule it, I don’t even think about it, I do it automatically. Total game changer.
If I was able to give you two hours of time every day to put yourself first, what would you do with that time? Why not schedule it alongside the other time slots in your calendar, make it a priority and do something just for you?
After years and years of ‘putting in time’ building a business, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day running of it, almost as if it had a life of its own (some would believe they do!), I decided some time ago that’s it’s equally as important to take time out for myself. Indeed, famous figures in history like Charles Darwin and Winston Churchill (who made space for daily naps during WW II) regarded rest as the true key to fulfillment and creative success.
Some years ago, I gave myself permission to get out of the office once a week to play a round of golf. This may sound like a pretty small thing, but when you’re used to giving your heart and soul to a venture all day, every day, taking a couple of hours off really is a big thing. It took a little getting used to, but toward the end of the season, not only did my game improve – I found it all very empowering! I was taking charge of my schedule and how my week would roll out while still fitting in some ‘me time’. Of course, I reviewed the week ahead of time to make sure everything would get done that needed to get done and most of the time I stuck to my schedule and the commitment to myself of playing golf.
Hopefully very soon, this summer will see golf courses opening for regular play once again so that those inclined can get out for fresh air and exercise which will do a world of good, not to mention provide rest and a change of pace that leads to higher productivity.
My business works for me by providing for my needs and I’m living the life I want: life balance, low stress and meaningful, fulfilling days doing what I love.
Are you living a balanced life? How do you break free and get some rest during your workweek? Find me on Linked In and share your thoughts.
Individuals with high EQ (emotional intelligence) are most likely to be strong, effective business #leaders. They realize that trusting relationships built on diplomacy and respect is the heart of both individual success and business #productivity.
Success in business is greatly impacted – for better or worse – by the way in which we communicate. Happiness in our personal lives is also greatly dependent on this very same skill. Becoming a good communicator takes practice. It requires consistent attention and effort on your part, and it is a skill that we cannot afford to overlook.
Dr. John Lund, a lead researcher in interpersonal #communication and an author in identification studies, conducted a significant part of research involved in identifying patterns of speech and differences in how men and women communicate.
There is no doubt that we can all benefit from Dr. Lund’s tips on how to better approach people when we begin a conversation, as well as his advice that we “don`t communicate to be understood; rather, communicate so as not to be misunderstood.”
Take a genuine interest in others. Really tune in to what the other person is saying and don’t think up questions while they’re talking. Think about what they’ve said, ask thoughtful questions and provide considerate answers. Always make an effort to remember names, dates and important life events. If you’re not good at this skill, keep practicing!
Being “liked” or having a “wonderful personality” are highly prized attributes, especially in today’s electronic environs. Supreme communicators also have a keen ability to shift gears when the context calls for it; they respond accordingly to what current situations require.
Good judgment is a key people-skill that comes directly from learning, listening to others and observing the world around you. It allows you to wisely select friends and associates, determine reactions and responses and make sound decisions.
To create trust and respect in others, people need to know that their point of view and feedback will be considered and used. Being known as someone who keeps an open mind also makes you more approachable and easier to work with.
The saying “honesty is the best policy” is not only true, it’s essential in building trust among your peers and clientele. Once it’s lost, it’s almost impossible to regain.
Did you know that when someone else communicates with us, the way we interpret their message is based on three things:
55% is based on their facial expressions and their body language.
37% is based on the tone of their voice.
8% is based on the words they say.
Dr. Lund provides us with the above percentages which are the averages across both men and women together. If you looked at women alone they would even give greater weight to the facial expressions and body language and even less on the words. This tells us that it is critical that we become very self-aware of how our body language is speaking to others as well as the tone we use. A little test: next time you are on the phone look at yourself in the mirror to assess how your body language reacts to what you are actually saying. This will help you become more aware of how you are actually reacting to the conversation.
These are unprecedented times we’re living in and with that comes uncertainty. With what has been coined “the new normal”, more people have found themselves working from home, and some are finding it increasingly challenging. Non-profits and associations are finding this new way of working challenging also because when you’re ‘being virtual’ it’s difficult to be in front of your donors and members with why they should contribute or why they need to continue to be a member.
In my 17 years of providing remote support to non-profits and associations, I’ve seen many changes and upheavals in the past year because of the pandemic. For me and my team, not much has changed operationally and because we operate the way we do, we were able to provide advice to our clients to help them change and adapt their operations helped them work remotely. The interesting thing is that because they were up and running again quickly, they were able to focus on new ways to stay in front of their donors and members. I have stepped back from time to time amid all the ‘chaos’ and thought, ‘aren’t we lucky that we have the technology to manage everything we need to manage? ‘
There is always a human side to that ‘remoteness’ regardless of what sector your organization is in. In my view, we really do need to take care of ourselves in these times of upheaval and uncertainty. We need to stay in top form so that we can help others around us but also to be more resilient to change. Take care of you. You’re important.
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