“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” – Anthony Robbins
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
These two great quotes are making the same point while coming from different directions; the authors are saying that our lives are in our own hands and that we should look at all the parts of our lives honestly and make conscious choices confidently so that we may benefit.
We have the power to change our lives by using what we already have inside ourselves: Tony Robbins knows that lack of self-confidence often holds us back; Ralph Waldo Emerson shows us that it’s what’s inside of us that counts more than the past and the future.
Even though they haven’t written books called “Time Management”, these authors teach us a lot about successful time management and successful life management.
The past 19 months have taught us that time can stand still, expand to fill how long it takes a task to be done, stretch out endlessly before us or reduce itself so small that there simply isn’t enough of it. Yet, we all still have 24 hours in a day.
Another great quote is from David Allen, author of “Getting Things Done” and “Ready for Anything”. He gets right to the point when he says, “Time is just time, you can’t mismanage it. What that really means is that you mismanaged the agreement you had with yourself about what you should have accomplished.” He goes on to say that time management is really a complex issue of self-management where work needs to be captured, clarified, organized and reviewed in line with your purpose, values, vision, goals, and strategies. When these things are in line, you’ll feel good about how you’re managing time.
It’s inevitable. Change will happen whether you are expecting it, or not, in your personal lives, in society and in the workplace. Generally speaking, when we expect a change, it is more manageable to deal with and depending on what it is, it can be a good thing. Unexpected change is the one that takes a little more effort to get through as it may require a re-adaption to processes, environments and people around us.
So, what are some things we can do to manage unexpected change? We can’t plan for it. Forbes Magazine touches on a few methods to deal with change in the workplace, such as preparation calming fears, letting go of perfection, and so on.
Take a look at the situation objectively, removing thoughts that these changes are directed toward you.
Think of the potential that can grow from this change. Think positively about the “surprise”.
Keep up to date those things that have not changed by continuing to take care of yourself and maintaining your routines.
When change happens, it might be wise to take a look at the entire situation from an objective standpoint. Instead of focusing on how this is affecting you as an individual, take a look at the big picture. Was it perhaps necessary from an organization standpoint for your workplace to change in order to keep up with a changing industry? Are there redundancies your employer is trying to work with? At times, we may look at changes at work and think “What did I do to deserve this?”, but in fact it may not have been something you did or didn’t do, but something that just happens in the course of running an enterprise. No, it is not pretty and sometimes human beings have to make difficult decisions.
Consider that the changes at work are an open door to something new. Although change may be scary and it may not always be easy to flip around a negative impression already established, it may be needed to help you move forward. The opportunity to grow can found by moving past fears you may have about the change to come and making a decision that this change is going to be good. Maybe there is an opportunity to learn a new skill within your job as a result of this change, or maybe the new skills can be learned in leaving this job for another one. Either way this can be an opportunity to further develop your skillset and knowledge. If you are leaving to find a new opportunity, what you have learned in this job can help you determine the things you like or may not like in going to the next job.
During a time of work change it is very important to keep up with personal care and maintaining your regular routines. You might think “Well I’m not going into work so why should I bother getting up early?” Maintaining your schedule and using the time that would have been at work doing something productive can help stave off negative feelings and allow you to keep a sense of consistency during a time that may be anything but consistent. Regardless of the situation, stay strong and forge on to a better path carved out for you by change.
I started to reflect on the cause of why some days are more productive than others and landed on the concept of distractions; how one has a tendency of thinking back and thinking ahead. Have you ever caught yourself worrying about the tasks that need to be done later in the day or tomorrow, whether this or that will turn out the way you hope or stressing over things that happened yesterday or last week? I’ve found that the days where it is easier to get things done are the days where I am totally focused on the task at hand, in other words, I’m being in the present moment.
I can’t be the only one that has discovered this pattern, and this fits nicely with the term ‘mindfulness’. It’s one of those things we hear so much about, but what does it mean to be mindful? Some might think it is like meditating (that can happen as part of practicing mindfulness), or like forgetting about things (depends on what you are thinking about), but what it really means is to bring you to the present time and to be present and aware of what you are doing now, at this moment in time.
What is Mindfulness?
According to mindful.com, it is “…the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” That sounds simple but can be challenging in practice.
My colleague shared her own experience in trying to be mindful and said she lasted maybe two minutes before she became distracted. She tried it as just a re-adjustment of her thought processes to try to concentrate on what she was doing and even tried it through meditation. However, she didn’t give up. She started slowly with one simple process, when she found herself becoming overwhelmed and distracted, she stopped everything she was doing for a moment.
At that moment she decided that she was going to fix this through her thought processes by taking note of what she was thinking about the moment she felt overwhelmed. If it was something in the past or something not yet to take place, she stripped it away and thought to herself, “What am I doing right now?” She would listen to her breathing, acknowledge where she was in her physical location and set her mind to the task at hand. Turning back to what she was trying to accomplish she would attempt to focus on that alone.
Now that’s not saying there haven’t been many times where she tried and still became distracted, but the key was not giving up. Mindfulness is learning process and takes time and practice.
Why is it so important?
Some of the common benefits of practising mindfulness include:
reducing stress;
better sleep patterns;
weight management (maybe because we are thinking about what we are eating);
reduction in automatic negative thought processes;
assistance in managing anxiety and depression;
improved general health (physical and mental); and
improved concentration.
Even therapists that suggest mindfulness to their clients have noticed a change in how they provide therapy by practicing it themselves. As noted by the American Psychological Association in 2012, studies suggest that by practicing mindfulness, therapists not only benefit from the reduction of anxiety and depression but it is found to improve how they care for their clients through more empathy and compassion to their clients with improved skills in counselling.
There we have it! I focused and this blog is now finished! One small victory!
If you’re seeking your one small victory, don’t give up and remember:
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”― Buddha
Now that summer is here, some of us may head off to the beach or a cottage, some may be working in the heat of summer, while still others may be getting comfortable near a fan. As noted in the acrostic above, summer is an opportunity for us to do a few things to keep ourselves calm and relaxed as we unwind this summer. And let’s face it, we deserve it after the year we’ve had!
Slowing the pace
By taking the time to stop what we’re doing, or interrupt the daily cycle to listen, take a breath and live in the moment, even for just a minute, we can gain tremendous benefits such as lowering stress levels, lowering our heart rate and improving our mood and psychological engagement. Lifehack.com has a list of ways to slow down in a fast-paced world.
Unwinding and unplugging
Try going a day (or longer) with no technology, explore the magic of un-plugging. That means no phone, no television, no media of any kind. Instead, why not try taking a relaxing bath, read a good book (preferably made of an ancient fiber called ‘paper’), playing music or painting, or any other activity one would consider “old school”. By taking note of how you feel at the end of the day or more with no technology and note if you had an unwound day without it. Getting in touch with some of the old ways of doing things can make a difference in one’s day and it can actually help you feel mentally refreshed. A colleague mentioned when she needs to unwind, she bakes some bread but doesn’t use machines to make it. Just a bowl, spoon and her two hands. She swears by it as a stress reliever. Personally, I knit dog sweaters throughout the year – it’s very meditative and I find I process information and solve problems while the needles are clicking away…
Meaningful time forus
Don’t feel guilty about taking some much-needed quality or meaningful time out just for you. How we define that time may be different for everyone. Perhaps it means to be alone to collect your thoughts without interruption, or it may mean making time for family and friends. Just remember to not feel guilty about taking that time back but if you need some convincing on why it is important to take the time for yourself, Psychology Today runs through a few reasons to not feel guilty about solitary time for you and Time.com talks about the importance of meaningful time with those around us (socially distanced, of course).
Motivation to move
So far, we have talked about slowing down, unplugging, unwinding and taking time for ourselves. This all sounds pretty relaxing, but what about the importance of getting up and moving? While this almost feels counter-intuitive to the strategy of relaxing, exercise can make that relaxation all the more impactful by adjusting our body chemistry to reduce stress and boost mood, allowing us to better make use of our previously discussed methods for relaxation, as mentioned in Harvard Health. Alternatively, if the heat has got you down, taking a dip in the nearest pool or lake is another great way to stay in shape.
Explore our environment
While you’re getting up to exercise, why not take it outside. It’s summer after all! This gives you a wonderful opportunity to mindfully take in nature within your neighbourhood, or local trails. In our busy days, we don’t always get to take in the beauty of our environment.
Remain relaxed
Finally, some days just feel like chaos rests at the top of our minds. This is the perfect chance to try some meditation exercises (check out the ‘Calm’ app) to quiet the chaos, reduce stress and bring us back to that place where we can once again enjoy a slower pace by unwinding and making our summer a meaningful one.
There is always talk about the ever-elusive ‘work-life balance’ – who has it, who doesn’t. All the articles on the Internet and the chatter on social media make it out to be a thing that is always just out of reach; like a balloon that you’ve let go of, but as hard as you try, you can’t jump high enough to get it back.
For the past year, I think I can safely say we’ve all struggled with finding balance, whatever form we wish that to take. Very few people on the planet today have experienced a global pandemic, so you’re not alone! So we’ve got that on our plates as well as its compounding ‘elusiveness’. No wonder we’re often feeling out of balance!
I’ve learned two things:
1) We perceive ourselves to be ‘out of balance’ not because we can’t do it, but because the goal is constantly shifting and changing. Priorities change minute by minute, quite often so fast that we don’t notice it and all of a sudden, we’re feeling out of balance again.
2) In these days of remote everything, the line between ‘work’ and ‘life’ is really, really blurred. I mean REALLY blurred. Because our work space and our living space is now the in the same place, there is no transition time between leaving work and arriving at home. We used to use that time in the car or on the bus to de-compress, shift to our personal selves and change our environment. Now we just try to cope with whatever is in front of us at particular moment, whether it’s a personal task or a work task, we just deal with it. In amongst all of that chaos, we’re told we need to find time for ourselves alone.
You are the answer. You yourself are responsible for your well-being, all day, every day. Not your job, not your spouse, not your kids. It starts and ends with you. It follows then that you need to make yourself the priority, say ‘no’ sometimes and stick to boundaries so that you can be your best self for everyone and everything in your life. This is the center of being in balance. Makes sense, doesn’t it?!?
Many years ago, I made health and fitness my first priority for two reasons. The first is that I came out of corporate physically and mentally fried, and the second is that starting a business meant that I was going to be in control of everything I do. Not my boss, not my spouse, me.
That in itself brings a sense of freedom; freedom to choose what to do with my time as the days stretch out before me. I start each and every day in three realms: physical fitness (weights, cardio), mental fitness (brain games, reading) and reflection (journaling, meditation). It’s what works for me; odds are that what fires up your day is totally different. My regimen starts my day off right, prepares me for the day ahead and gets all my systems firing. I started off by scheduling this commitment in my calendar several years ago and I did it daily, without fail. Now it’s my morning ritual; I don’t schedule it, I don’t even think about it, I do it automatically. Total game changer.
If I was able to give you two hours of time every day to put yourself first, what would you do with that time? Why not schedule it alongside the other time slots in your calendar, make it a priority and do something just for you?
After years and years of ‘putting in time’ building a business, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day running of it, almost as if it had a life of its own (some would believe they do!), I decided some time ago that’s it’s equally as important to take time out for myself. Indeed, famous figures in history like Charles Darwin and Winston Churchill (who made space for daily naps during WW II) regarded rest as the true key to fulfillment and creative success.
Some years ago, I gave myself permission to get out of the office once a week to play a round of golf. This may sound like a pretty small thing, but when you’re used to giving your heart and soul to a venture all day, every day, taking a couple of hours off really is a big thing. It took a little getting used to, but toward the end of the season, not only did my game improve – I found it all very empowering! I was taking charge of my schedule and how my week would roll out while still fitting in some ‘me time’. Of course, I reviewed the week ahead of time to make sure everything would get done that needed to get done and most of the time I stuck to my schedule and the commitment to myself of playing golf.
Hopefully very soon, this summer will see golf courses opening for regular play once again so that those inclined can get out for fresh air and exercise which will do a world of good, not to mention provide rest and a change of pace that leads to higher productivity.
My business works for me by providing for my needs and I’m living the life I want: life balance, low stress and meaningful, fulfilling days doing what I love.
Are you living a balanced life? How do you break free and get some rest during your workweek? Find me on Linked In and share your thoughts.
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